Copyright 2007 Ben S. Pollock
Want to fall off a tightrope, jeopardize all chances of a future, and get high, permanent placement in the Patriot Act no fly list? Say loudly (or online) that as an American you find Russian leader Vladimir Putin’s criticism of U.S. foreign policy gets many points right.If the prime minister of Britain made such a case, a number of U.S. pundits would laud many points and gently rebuke a few.
If the premier of France mouthed Putin’s words, we’d be back to Freedom Fries, to rid America of all the French things we love.
So, I propose we rename Russians things we like:
- Herring becomes “Jumbo Sardines.”
- Cabbage becomes “Whole-leaf Cole Slav.”
- Sour cream becomes “Freedom Whip.”
- Kasha becomes “Freedom Barley.”
- Vodka becomes “Potato Cider.”
- Borsht becomes “No Kidding, Beet Soup?”
- Caviar becomes “Fish Eggs” and why not tell the kids?
- Russian rye becomes “Jewish rye” because that’ll show ’em.
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