Nyuk nyuk nyuk Palahniuk

Copy­right 2004 Ben S. Pollock

July 5–6, 2004

July 6, 2004. Adden­dum to the 7/5 Brick below: I down­loaded the Palah­niuk inter­view and lis­tened to it twice. The NPR reporter did open her piece with a warn­ing that the writer spoke provoca­tively and that some com­ments were edited out. Sorry to miss those, because he was not out­ra­geous, but dead­pan. My over­all opin­ion holds. NPR let the writer get away with sound­ing seri­ous when he was actu­ally par­o­dy­ing an author interview.

July 5, 2004. I love National Pub­lic Radio, got hooked in 1977, while in col­lege. It’s because I have faith in its reportage and in its com­men­tary. They make the dif­fer­ence suf­fi­ciently obvi­ous. (Only snoots have trou­ble with dis­tin­guish­ing the twain, and those patron­iz­ing pip­squeaks are fak­ing con­fu­sion, pur­port­edly for the sake of oth­ers whom they claim to be help­ing.)

NPR uses such good jour­nal­ists that when they get conned, it befouls all of us who ply the trade, both in its news and analy­sis spheres.

On “All Things Con­sid­ered” of Sun­day, July 4, 2004, an NPR reporter inter­viewed some writer named Chuck Palah­niuk. Yes, this malfea­sance of jour­nal­ism wasn’t about Iraqi pris­ons, it was a book promotion.

I only caught the last few min­utes of the piece, while dri­ving to the paper. Maybe I should lis­ten to it again to be fair. Maybe, I’ll lis­ten later.

Palah­niuk was talk­ing about him­self and his “Stranger than Fic­tion: True Sto­ries,” a col­lec­tion of mag­a­zine work.

Sec­onds after I tuned in, Chuck (I don’t feel like writ­ing Palah­niuk twice every graf), said he got anec­dotes to use in his writ­ing sim­ply by engag­ing strangers. But that’s got­ten harder now that he is so famous, because he now flies in busi­ness class, due to new wealth. None of the exec­u­tives are talk­a­tive and when they do, it’s boring.

So, Chuck said, he drugs them. Then they get interesting.

Oh, really, says jour­nal­ist Andrea Seabrook.

He hands out Vicodin, he says to elab­o­rate. He doesn’t stop elab­o­rat­ing. His seat­mates drink on top of that pow­er­ful med­i­cine — booze is free in busi­ness class.

And flight crews talk, because they accept his Vicodin, too, he said. On duty.

Not a peep from Seabrook. She just moves on. They dis­cuss Chuck’s pub­lic readings.

He talks about how each piece lasts seven to 10 min­utes and that an effec­tive piece engages the reader, makes them laugh and always by the end makes them cry (just like the cliche). Chuck then says the best part is when peo­ple faint as that shows his suc­cess in writ­ing and deliv­ery abilities.

Seabrook just moves on.

That is very jour­nal­is­tic, no opin­ion from the reporter. This is not uni­ver­sal prac­tice. As a lis­tener of “Fresh Air’s” Terry Gross, I believe she would say to Chuck, “You’re full of it,” or, more neu­trally, “You’re kid­ding, right?” But Gross’s inter­view is the piece, not a jour­nal­is­tic tool. In radio jour­nal­ism, actualities/sound bites aug­ment the over­all story, which by def­i­n­i­tion is a sum­mary of research.

Seabrook is not fully at fault. Blame her editor/producer. Such pieces are not broad­cast live; that could wreck the tim­ing of seg­ments before and after. The piece could have been clar­i­fied. The reporter both before and after, and some­times dur­ing, a seg­ment repeats basic infor­ma­tion and in some way cau­tions about the verac­ity of the subject.

The paper press has a sim­i­lar dilemma: Some­thing is said at a night gov­ern­ment meet­ing, say, and you just quote it, on dead­line, with no time or con­ve­nient resource to double-check or even to rebut.

Or, hell, maybe Chuck does find it easy to drug atten­dents, and peo­ple actu­ally do swoon at book read­ings. I’ve attended lots of read­ings, and the best ones? Just applause.

Who is Chuck Palah­niuk? He wrote the “Fight Club.” You know, a movie. That kind of writer, saved from obscu­rity by a script adap­ta­tion. I plan to hit the library and con­sider his novels.

He really was funny on this news­cast, and clever: He shang­haied his own piece back from a jour­nal­ist. He could sell that trick to politi­cians. Then he’d be rich. –30–

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