{"id":7515,"date":"2023-04-22T18:06:00","date_gmt":"2023-04-22T23:06:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/benpollock.com\/brick\/?p=7515"},"modified":"2023-05-03T00:01:48","modified_gmt":"2023-05-03T05:01:48","slug":"university-of-phoenix","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/benpollock.com\/brick\/2023\/04\/university-of-phoenix\/","title":{"rendered":"Root for the Phightin’ Phoenices to Roost in Arkansas"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

DATELINE MIRTHOLOGY \u2014 We, the Campus Welcoming Committee of the University of Arkansas System, would like to extend a hand or rather wing to our newest school, the University of Phoenix.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the UA System Board of Trustees has not yet voted on the adoption of this virtual campus, we might seem hasty. But this purchase has been delayed, if not debated, long enough. Let’s follow the lead of our popular new governor and act before thinking everything through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Update: This fantasy will remain imaginary as trustees quashed the acquisition<\/a> (alternate link<\/a>) April 24, 2023. But read on to enjoy the show.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Trustees in public have only questioned the acquisition without opposing it \u2014 quoted in “University of Arkansas System Board Split on University of Phoenix Deal<\/a>” (alternate link<\/a>) \u2014 nowhere near “Are you nuts,” “This could break the bank, “Are we losing sight of our purpose?” “This’ll weaken the stability and reputation of our corporeal campuses.” Thus, the committee cheerily accepts what’s coming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Later, a new name \u2014 University of Arkansas at Phoenix or University of Arkansas, Phoenix, or University of Arkansas-Phoenix \u2014 will be determined by the governor with advice from her out-of-state staff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The private enterprise, with the social media handle UoPX<\/a> (pronounced YOH-PIX), while an online higher education institution has been based since its 1976 founding in Phoenix, Arizona. While Arkansas (like Oklahoma) is not Arizona, the ZIP postal codes \u2014 AR and AZ, respectively \u2014 have been confusing for decades.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The AR-AZ confusion will only increase with the acquisition, but that’s good. Stephens Inc. has enough gold to buy out climate change: Arizona gets rain, and we get succulents. As if Arkansas doesn’t have enough thorny situations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

Well, I never been to Heaven \/ But I been to Oklahoma \/ Well, they tell me I was born there \/ But I really don’t remember \/ In Oklahoma, not Arizona \/ What does it matter, what does it matter? <\/p>\n\u2014 Hoyt Axton (Waylon Jennings cover<\/a> )<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

The UA System Welcome Committee, to avoid confusion not to mention hard feelings, sends greetings to our fellow land-grant school the University of Arizona \u2014 Go, Wildcats! Uh-oh, cats prey on birds. Beep-beep, Phoenix, fly!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If universities still teach ancient mythologies \u2014 as opposed to making it up as we go along, like now \u2014 students would already know that the fiery phoenix of legend never quite dies as it keeps getting reborn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The UoPX new abbreviation is expected to be UA-Phoe, pronounced U-A FEE. UAP is too similar to UAPB (UA-Pine Bluff). There’s conservative concern UAP would be spoken as YIPPEE, which indicates fun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The committee also welcomes the new Transformative Education Services Inc. (TES pronounced TEASE), recently created by the UA-System to hold UA-Phoe (UA-fee) separate from the Arkansas grounded campuses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The plural of phoenix is phoenices. We won’t have to look far for a mascot for the Phoenix Athletic Department or risk further political incorrectness with the cheer, GO PHIGHTING PHOENICES!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grabbing Phoenix by the tail is hoped to land better than the previous attempt, in 2021, to buy our way into 100 percent remote digital, UA-Grantham<\/a>, originally Grantham Radio License School. While Grantham’s team had been the Eagles, its mascot now is the digit the Talon<\/a>. The UA-Sys Welcoming Committee assures all Arkansans it has a cheer, “TAKE IT FOR GRANTHAM!” <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To be in UA, Grantham and Phoenix will field teams like Razorbacks, Lions, Golden Lions and Trojans. As online campuses, they will compete in video games and video gaming, once these are differentiated by the NCAA. When this will be set is its own sporting proposition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grantham started in Los Angeles and now is officed in Little Rock. We recommend Hot Springs or North Little Rock to house Phoenix, as both cities have enjoyed waves of rebirth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To plan, the Welcome Committee first reads the writing on walls not covered with ivy. The UA System is anticipating when student enrollment declines to where it can’t be rescued by offering in-state tuition in neighboring states. Enrollment is falling already<\/a> on some UA campuses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finding a few cash cows, once past prime so to speak, is one way to keep the land-grant public higher education system afloat. Valuing volume over quality has its attractions but only for certain economic models.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead of continuous construction, repurpose existing campus buildings and offer naming privileges. Ever heard the descendants of UA-Fayetteville alumnus Aulden Main regret the beloved Old Main?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Additional multidiscipline and honors majors could be designed, and charge for them like a private college. If a family wants a Rice or Hendrix University education for their kid, the UA System could set something up yet with tuition and fees temptingly set between a private school and the UA’s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some quarters push for charter schools. Why not charter colleges? Imagine the attraction of the higher ed equivalent of open-enrollment charter and district conversion charter colleges.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Consider the UA-System purpose<\/a>, “provides communities in Arkansas with access to academic and professional opportunities, develops intellectual growth and cultural awareness in its students and provides knowledge and research skills to an ever-changing society.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or claim TES (Tease) is both sound and sincere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a92023 Ben S. Pollock<\/small><\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Illustration<\/a>
Images from openclipart.org<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

DATELINE MIRTHOLOGY \u2014 We, the Campus Welcoming Committee of the University of Arkansas System, would like to extend a hand or rather wing to our newest school, the University of Phoenix. As the UA System Board of Trustees has not yet voted on the adoption of this virtual campus, we might seem hasty. But this […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7519,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7515","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-education-coarsely"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/benpollock.com\/brick\/wp-content\/uploads\/cartoonish-phoenix-and-hog.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":430,"url":"https:\/\/benpollock.com\/brick\/2008\/06\/hog-in-a-poke\/","url_meta":{"origin":7515,"position":0},"title":"Hog in a Poke","author":"Ben S. Pollock","date":"June 6, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Copyright 2008 Ben S. Pollock DATELINE MIRTHOLOGY -- \"So Crystal, you were there in Morrilton this morning? \"Looking for a good price on Petit Jean ham, but all I could find were University of Arkansas trustees. Saw them going for the poke as well as the pig.\" \"That may have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Chronicles of Crystal Britches"","block_context":{"text":"Chronicles of Crystal Britches","link":"https:\/\/benpollock.com\/brick\/category\/chronicles-of-crystal-britches\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5296,"url":"https:\/\/benpollock.com\/brick\/2016\/01\/greek-theater\/","url_meta":{"origin":7515,"position":1},"title":"UA to Sportify Greek Theater","author":"Ben S. Pollock","date":"January 31, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"DATELINE MIRTHOLOGY -- University of Arkansas trustees have approved expanding the use of the Chi Omega Greek Theater into an all-weather sports complex suitable for croquet, badminton and squash, the last using a glass-walled court on an elevator in the stage floor. The proposal, bandied about by the nonprofit Razorback\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Chronicles of Crystal Britches"","block_context":{"text":"Chronicles of Crystal Britches","link":"https:\/\/benpollock.com\/brick\/category\/chronicles-of-crystal-britches\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Greek Theater at the University of Arkansas. 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Throughout the areas news media, coverage of the University of Arkansas naturally stays prominent, not only because it's one of the largest employers\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Education, Coarsely"","block_context":{"text":"Education, Coarsely","link":"https:\/\/benpollock.com\/brick\/category\/education-coarsely\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Newspaper vending machines in Toronto in 2011.","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/benpollock.com\/brick\/wp-content\/uploads\/Canadian-newspaper-boxes-16x9-1.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/benpollock.com\/brick\/wp-content\/uploads\/Canadian-newspaper-boxes-16x9-1.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/benpollock.com\/brick\/wp-content\/uploads\/Canadian-newspaper-boxes-16x9-1.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/benpollock.com\/brick\/wp-content\/uploads\/Canadian-newspaper-boxes-16x9-1.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":8334,"url":"https:\/\/benpollock.com\/brick\/2026\/03\/rebels-causes\/","url_meta":{"origin":7515,"position":3},"title":"Rebel with a Load of Causes","author":"Ben S. Pollock","date":"March 24, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"An Editor\u2019s Note For all my love of words, I'm lousy at protest signs. Six maybe eight words is perfect. Pickets are a lot like billboards. You're driving by, so highway ads need to be sparse for comprehension. That's the same with demonstrations, where picketers stand on a sidewalk as\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "News, Spin"","block_context":{"text":"News, Spin","link":"https:\/\/benpollock.com\/brick\/category\/news-spin\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Marlon Brando's character Johnny rode a 1950 Triumph 6T 650cc Thunderbird motorcycle, like this, in 1953's \"The Wild One.\"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/benpollock.com\/brick\/wp-content\/uploads\/Triumph-6T-650cc-Thunderbird-1950-16x9-640x360-1.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/benpollock.com\/brick\/wp-content\/uploads\/Triumph-6T-650cc-Thunderbird-1950-16x9-640x360-1.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/benpollock.com\/brick\/wp-content\/uploads\/Triumph-6T-650cc-Thunderbird-1950-16x9-640x360-1.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":8126,"url":"https:\/\/benpollock.com\/brick\/2025\/08\/deconstruction-era\/","url_meta":{"origin":7515,"position":4},"title":"The Deconstruction Era","author":"Ben S. Pollock","date":"August 26, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"An Editor's Note It's incredible that no wag by now has given our era a name that sticks, goes viral. The announcements and actions coming out of Washington this year \u2014 with no sign of slowing \u2014 qualify for uniqueness. We came close in 2017-2021 to a singular name, but\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "News, Spin"","block_context":{"text":"News, Spin","link":"https:\/\/benpollock.com\/brick\/category\/news-spin\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"President-elect Donald Trump takes the oath of office on Monday, Jan. 20, 2025. He did not touch the Bibles held for him by his wife.","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/benpollock.com\/brick\/wp-content\/uploads\/Donald_Trump_takes_the_oath_of_office_2025-16x9-1.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/benpollock.com\/brick\/wp-content\/uploads\/Donald_Trump_takes_the_oath_of_office_2025-16x9-1.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/benpollock.com\/brick\/wp-content\/uploads\/Donald_Trump_takes_the_oath_of_office_2025-16x9-1.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/benpollock.com\/brick\/wp-content\/uploads\/Donald_Trump_takes_the_oath_of_office_2025-16x9-1.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/benpollock.com\/brick\/wp-content\/uploads\/Donald_Trump_takes_the_oath_of_office_2025-16x9-1.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/benpollock.com\/brick\/wp-content\/uploads\/Donald_Trump_takes_the_oath_of_office_2025-16x9-1.jpeg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":6336,"url":"https:\/\/benpollock.com\/brick\/2019\/04\/your-vote\/","url_meta":{"origin":7515,"position":5},"title":"I Would Appreciate Your Vote","author":"Ben S. Pollock","date":"April 30, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Candidate Ben Pollock Official U of A photo, summer 2014 I am running this week for a position on the University of Arkansas Staff Senate. The online balloting ends Monday, May 6. If you are a U of A staff member, you may choose to vote for me, and the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Education, Coarsely"","block_context":{"text":"Education, Coarsely","link":"https:\/\/benpollock.com\/brick\/category\/education-coarsely\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"My Razorback roots go deeper than I thought. My maternal grandfather, Ernest Mendel of Fort Smith (born in Hot Springs), evidently attended the University of Arkansas. 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